Illusion is the name of the game for all narcissists. Narcissists play on perception and yes of course, they utilize this to gain supply but much more is conducted that meets the eye with the narcissist’s thought to be “superpowers”
When a narcissist chooses to seek revenge against his victim, he will ensure that he plays on every aspect of his covert malignant pathology. The narcissist implants faulty perceptions in the mind of his victim and for many reasons.
An example of this is when the narcissist chooses to stalk his victims. The narcissist will ensure that his victim truly believes that his violation of privacy is much greater than it actually is. So why does the narcissist do this?
1. To make his victim appear paranoid and crazy to the people she reaches out to for help
2. To create supply by ensuring the victim’s mind is 100 percent on him at all times whether its due to a state of confusion, anger or paranoia
3. To appear omnipotent and omnipresent-the narcissist wants to appear as his false self appears to him-everywhere but never seen or tangible. This is how the narcissist interacts with his false self within his own pathological mind. The false self presents faulty perceptions for the narcissist as well as portraying itself as an almighty auditory entity. The narcissist cannot escape his false self even if he wanted to and at times, he very much wants to believe me but as you can see, there is a visible pattern here.
4. The narcissist wants his victims to believe that they cannot escape him under any circumstances just as he cannot escape his false self.
When fighting against this particular tactic of perceptual manipulation, utilize logic as often as you can. Always ask yourself for the facts regarding potential personal invasions. The narcissist is not omnipotent or omnipresent-the most he can truly do in this regard anyhow is send his flying monkeys to appear as if he is and of course, stalk and harass you himself via all of his aliases.
It is very clear the narcissist conducts his words and actions surrounding the benefit of the false self but the narcissist is in fact not the false self.
The narcissist has a choice to conduct oneself in favour of the false self or not. If a scenario can be left in the realm of unknown interpretation, the narcissist can behave malignantly and also claim he is not doing such-that his victims are just merely crazy.
Narcissists like to create the idea of the true self in the mind’s of his victims as well as the concept of the false self in order to drive their victims crazy but also, the narcissist can appear as the false self and behave as the malignant and cunning narcissist he is. Doing this, meaning planting the concept of the false self in the victim’s mind along side the narcissist’s true self, helps the narcissist gain and maintain control.
The false self is nothing but a concept. It is utilized immensely in the beginning of any “relationship”. The false self is fluid in the sense that it is constantly being modified accordingly in order to mirror their victims. The removal of the false self is how the true self is understood and planted solely in their victim’s mind.
Anxiety # 1- before the discard
So in this stage of recovery, you are well aware of the narcissistic relational cycle-love bomb, degrade, discard yet, you still have anxiety. What does this tell you?
Anxiety is your brain’s reaction to perceived danger. Your brain is trying to prevent you from danger aka the toxic narcissist. Somehow, the goal for you has become tolerating the anxiety over listening to it. The fact that you are having anxiety about knowing that you will be discarded sooner than later, only goes to show you that you are aware that something is in fact very wrong. This is a step ahead from where you started.
Anxiety #2- being degraded and discarded
It is very natural to feel anxiety knowing you will eventually be abused again. Your mind is very afraid because of course, the effects of prolong abuse are all very much mentally damaging. So what in the hell is keeping you in this so called relationship cycle? The goal for most becomes trying to avoid being abused in this stage vs leaving the toxic relationship after being degraded and discarded. Why not just duck and cover after this stage? This is an extremely difficult stage because the problem here is that the narcissist has stolen your self worth by distorting your reality and mind. Over time, this “relationship” goal is shifted towards psychologically surviving which turns the focus towards trying to protect, maintain and keep your self worth, forgetting entirely that you are aware of the abuse but at a stand still.
Anxiety #3 -The Hover
The hover is very important to your unconscious mind simply because it is provided relief from the annihilating shame that the narcissist has left you in till of course, he decides to come back. This hover appears angelic because it is what saves you temporarily from the hell you were just in. What is truly sick about this entire relationship dynamic is it replicates the mental world of a narcissist regarding the relationship he has with “himself”.
Anyone who has dealt with a narcissist in a romantic relationship knows there are very specific anxieties that are used against you.
When in a relationship with a narcissist, trying to deal with a hover or a discard is the glue holding these specific anxieties together.
When being discarded, anxiety is felt all the way up to the “already knowing” of being discarded, being forced to wait for the bomb to drop.
Once discarded and utterly ignored by the narcissist, the anxiety is derived from a sense of complete lack of control, experiencing extreme helplessness and shame.
Upon the narcissist’s arrival via the hover, the anxiety is derived from knowing better in regards to playing along with the narcissist as if nothing is wrong or pretending that you are to blame for the silent treatment and discard.
The problem with these three unique anxieties is the inability to pin point how to successfully leave without your own mind turning against you.
When dealing with a narcissist who has decided to terrorize and stalk you online, a loss of hope can be something that takes place.
It is important to take pictures and collect as much evidence as you can in order to be able to provide evidence and proof of patterns and incidences to the authorities.
Narcissists use many tricks when they stalk and harass their victims online.
One major trick to be aware of is-
You will want to and mostly likely will, contact the narcissist in attempts to get him to stop terrorizing you. Of course, the narcissist has set the relational dynamic up in a way where you are of course, not allowed to discuss reality with him or her so you may try to apologize or even attempt to scare him.
Without evidence and proof, this can appear negatively on your behalf thus, you appearing unstable or appearing contradictory . This is why it is critical that patterns and various forms of evidence is accrued.
the use of propaganda, threats, and other psychological techniques to mislead, intimidate, demoralize, or otherwise influence the thinking or behavior of an opponent.
The name of the game for pathological narcissists is “psychological warfare”. The goal is to create doubt, confusion and insanity within their victim’s minds. The most effective way to control a person is to enter and invade one’s mind.
When your dealing with a narcissist, over time you will see that the narcissist in fact, has no shame -as long as what you see aka what he shows you-cannot be identified as “him”.
The narcissist cannot feel shame if his ego aka him is not seen as the one doing an act of shame. It does not matter what you know as his victim or even what you tell him you know because what matters to a narcissist is what can be seen as “him”. The narcissist’s ego is all that can illicit shame within such a pathological person’s mind.
Narcissists like to use aliases and these aliases are used for this purpose, essentially to protect the ego and behave in shameless ways without direct consequences to one’s ego. These aliases also allow the narcissist to try and make his victims appear crazy. The narcissist will covertly suggest he is in fact the one hiding behind the alias when terrorizing his victim which than leads most victims to contact the narcissist directly – creating a place for the narcissist to tell the victim he/she is a crazy delusional liar.
This is important to know because as a victim, the last thing you want to create is fuel for the narcissist in court or while conducting his smear campaign.