When someone talks to you, they also learn about your worldview to better understand how you understand life and the world around you. These two particular factors creates a non seeable universe of two subjective minds meeting as one. In this universe, people exist together via understanding each other and this is reliant on the use of language.
When it comes to a narcissist, the narcissist creates a way of being with oneself that corrupts and exploits this linguistically created and understood universe. What is being said is being manipulated on both ends by the narcissist. How he speaks will result in how you speak back to him. The narcissist exploits this particular knowing by attempting to manifest and construct a particular understanding in your mind of how he understands this shared universe.
The narcissist exploits his own expressed subjective state of mind in a false but favourable way. The narcissist attempts to manifest a reality around him where he does what he wants and blames you for it either blatantly lying and blaming you or by denying the reality of things thus, manipulating this shared universe where you and the narcissist have a supposed understanding of each-another.
For the narcissist, he gets to convince his inner demon that he is all good while doing the exact opposite in reality thus, actually making the narcissist all bad. The narcissist gets to hit two birds with one stone when it comes to this though unfortunately.
The narcissist Exploits your mutually shared and supposed understood universe by changing the way he expresses his faulty created worldview when you respond to it in any way. For example, you have always known the narcissist likes green peppers on his pizza and every Friday you order a pizza with green peppers till one Friday, you order the pizza and the narcissist screams at you for it “you know i hate green peppers!!!”. This illustrates a reference point to how all interactions with a narcissist over time. This particular tactic is the platform that the narcissist uses to manifest and maintain his false self. The narcissist linguistically exploit you by denying that he ever liked green peppers on his pizza and this teaches you over time, that the narcissist will punish you even if you are aware of the fact that both of you know that the pizza was always ordered with green peppers. You learn to become adapted to an idea that suggests that it is much easier to just let the narcissist pretend he never ordered pizza with green peppers on it in his life. Unfortunately, this particular tolerance back fires because what you think you are harmlessly allowing, is not harmless and it traps you in that shared universe where all your attempts to say “we order green peppers on the pizza every Friday” will never be taken seriously and not by the narcissist but by you.
By allowing the narcissist this psychosis, you convince a part of your brain that you never did order the pizza with green peppers because after that one Friday, every other Friday now you have ordered it without green peppers. Even if a part of your brain knows the narcissist is a liar and your humouring him, it will always create an influential doubt within you where your attempts to crack the psychosis in the future.