When you enter a romantic relationship with someone, you never think that you need to protect your thinking and emotions to ensure that no one attempts to rewires your thinking and emotions and use them against you.
When in a relationship with a narcissist, you become enslaved without knowing, you slowly become mentally and emotionally out of control by who you think is your soulmate. Never would your mind think that someone would waste their time doing what a narcissist does but oddly enough, this exists. Learning to rewire your thinking is so important when recovering from psychological abuse and understanding reality is the way to it.
This post is going to focus on understanding what silence really means and how reality defines silence of a narcissist vs your understanding vs the narcissist’s goal.
When a narcissist goes silent, confusion and shame become your state of mind. A need to understand what “reality” is consumes you, looking to the narcissist for such an understanding (who refuse to give it to you even when you think he has), along with blaming yourself. Mind you, it is a normal interpretation to think your being ignored because you have done something wrong.
The narcissist’s goal–
The goal of a narcissist when he goes silent is to control your focus(thinking) and to control your emotions(confusion and shame). These unique mental states create desperation for his victim.
Example: You reply back to your narcissist’s morning text message when you wake up but you happened to wake up late. Your narcissist begins to ignore you once you do respond to his message right away.
So what does reality say? Reality says that this is what narcissist’s do. Reality says you woke up late and replied late. Reality says a narcissist’s interpretation is distorted, fear based, confused and desperate. Reality says the narcissist has projected his state of thinking and emotion onto you.
The narcissist hates not knowing why you haven’t responded, he cannot conclude/assume anything because the narcissist solely defines reality based on his victim’s reactions. The narcissist fears being ignored on extreme levels as well.