So there is the covert and the overt narcissist. The overt narcissist is very verbally and sometimes physically abusive.
Its also been said that the covert narcissist is the eternal victim brand of narcissist but this is not entirely true. If you look at both brands of crazy, both the overt and the covert narcissist, choose to behave as the eternal victim, yes, even the overt.
The overt narcissist abuses people in a more direct way but none the less, they hold victim stances. Everything that both brands of narcissists do is derived from a victim stance.
“I abuse you because you made me”- this is the thinking of the overt narcissist. The justification of their direct verbal and sometimes physical abuse is based on the idea that they are protecting themselves or defending themselves from a false claim that their victims are the abusers.
The overt narcissist uses linguistic manipulation and gaslighting to reverse the victim stance to abuse their victims. This confuses the actual victim of the narcissist and is the factor that creates the belief in victims that they are the ones that are the pathological narcissist.
How can one tell the difference between being a victim of a narcissist and the overt narcissist abusing you and claiming victimhood?
Looking at the situation with objective eyes and asking yourself what the narcissist is claiming she/he is the victim of? Are you being blamed for expressing yourself? Are you falsely being accused of cheating? Really ask yourself what the narcissist is claiming in regards to his justification for abusing you. Are you confused to why you are being called an abuser? Are you reacting to this confusion placed on you by the narcissist with aggression and frustration like any normal person would? Don’t get distracted by your emotions and take a step back because you will be able to see the illusion being presented to you.