Before you meet the narcissist, emotions were most likely not something you ever thought about on the level you do now. When you felt your emotions, you most likely didn’t feel the need to heavily question them or feel bad about them. For most people, emotions are part of being a human and that fact is accepted for the most part.

After experiencing a relationship with a narcissist, your perceptions towards your own emotions end up drastically changing. You become judgmental and ashamed of your own emotions.

A very famous tactic of the narcissist is to trigger your emotional reactions for supply thus, being constantly and covertly shamed for your attempts to have your emotional needs met by what you thought was your trusted soul mate.

It gets to the point where your need for answers, explanations and relief towards your shock and devastation, ends up becoming the trigger to your own covertly induced shame.

So not only does the narcissist use your emotions against you but will use the induced triggered shame against you as well by ignoring you thus, making you feel ashamed for feeling in the first place.

Because narcissists exists as an external self in his/her subjective mind, he/she feels no shame towards being a malignant it. The narcissists unconscious thinking pattern goes something like this – “I know I have triggered and manipulated his/her emotions but that is all irrelevant because in order for me to have emotional consequences, my external self needs to appear in the wrong and me saying nothing cannot make me wrong.”

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