When raised by a narcissist or when both your parents are narcissists, most experienced shame on a very unnatural level. Everything you did and didn’t do was constantly shamed growing up. Being covertly and overtly shamed on a constant and daily basis in childhood can really toy with one’s world view.
The consequences of constant shaming and degrading usually surfaces in adulthood such as a fear surrounding judgment and being shamed. Becoming hyper vigilant towards being judged can become heightened and various types of anxiety disorders can surface for the victim. There is also no realm where you can appease a narcissist and so unfortunately, shaming is the name of the game.
Due to the significance surrounding cognitive development in childhood, specifically towards the formation and understanding of one’s identity and attachment, the constant mental abuse experienced in childhood may not be readily available to the conscious mind. Childhood trauma is not always consciously available and so you may just be experiencing symptoms and unsure of why.
The narcissist lives under constant threat of being shamed due to their false self needing to be protected. A fear of constantly being shamed is projected onto the narcissist’s child. This does not make the victim, a narcissist but it does make the victim a victim of a narcissist. How one can tell if one is a narcissist or a victim of a narcissist is the lack of auditory hallucinations. Narcissists hear voices that do not belong to them.
What makes these circumstances worse for any victim of a narcissist is that the shaming And traumas experienced as a child will always be denied by your narcissist parent/parents. This lacking in recognition towards one’s childhood experiences can amplify and worsen the mental anguish for any victim. When the narcissist refuses to acknowledge reality, this can lead to self blaming due to lack of knowing. The mind is meant to create meaning and understanding towards one’s experiences and objective reality and narcissists remove this capacity for their victims.