Anxiety # 1- before the discard
So in this stage of recovery, you are well aware of the narcissistic relational cycle-love bomb, degrade, discard yet, you still have anxiety. What does this tell you?
Anxiety is your brain’s reaction to perceived danger. Your brain is trying to prevent you from danger aka the toxic narcissist. Somehow, the goal for you has become tolerating the anxiety over listening to it. The fact that you are having anxiety about knowing that you will be discarded sooner than later, only goes to show you that you are aware that something is in fact very wrong. This is a step ahead from where you started.
Anxiety #2- being degraded and discarded
It is very natural to feel anxiety knowing you will eventually be abused again. Your mind is very afraid because of course, the effects of prolong abuse are all very much mentally damaging. So what in the hell is keeping you in this so called relationship cycle? The goal for most becomes trying to avoid being abused in this stage vs leaving the toxic relationship after being degraded and discarded. Why not just duck and cover after this stage? This is an extremely difficult stage because the problem here is that the narcissist has stolen your self worth by distorting your reality and mind. Over time, this “relationship” goal is shifted towards psychologically surviving which turns the focus towards trying to protect, maintain and keep your self worth, forgetting entirely that you are aware of the abuse but at a stand still.
Anxiety #3 -The Hover
The hover is very important to your unconscious mind simply because it is provided relief from the annihilating shame that the narcissist has left you in till of course, he decides to come back. This hover appears angelic because it is what saves you temporarily from the hell you were just in. What is truly sick about this entire relationship dynamic is it replicates the mental world of a narcissist regarding the relationship he has with “himself”.