Narcissists like to teach you how they want to be treated. Narcissists like to learn how they should treat you as well. This is the dynamic of a normal building relationship. Unfortunately though, this dynamic plays out differently with a narcissist. Once this becomes a routine and comfortable for you and enough safe time goes by, the narcissist will turn around and use all of the above against you. There are many ways this normal and typical relationship building dynamic can be used against someone.
The narcissist Exploiting what he has learned about you by:
Learning how you like to be responded to regarding particular situations – An example- the narcissist knows you like to be babied or cuddled when you are sick so he will do this. The next time you are sick though, instead of cuddles, he goes out with his friends. Using your fears, annoyances and traumas against you is another commonly used way to exploit you.
The narcissist exploiting what he has taught you about him by:
Teaching you how he likes to be responded to when he is stressed- An example- Maybe he likes to watch a movie, shut the world out and be alone in times of great distress. You accommodate this need of course. Later on, a moment arrises where you get the q that he just had a bad day at work. So you decide to go out with your girlfriends that night. All of a sudden, he decides to freak out on you, call you selfish and breaks up with you.