Of course the love bombing stage plays a massive role in how you ended up here reading this blog but a commonly missed factor when trying to get over a narcissist is understanding why you cannot seem to let go of the false self.
The narcissist ensures he does not slip when it comes to this aspect of brainwashing. Knowing and believing that the false self is in fact false is the difficult part of the journey when trying to leave and escape a narcissist for good. To know that the narcissist operates with a false self and to know what is truly underneath that mask due is not enough to truly believe the false self isn’t real.
First off, you need to understand how the false self is maintained by the narcissist as the only thing that is real. This is done by by the following:
You are blamed for everything the narcissist says, does and doesn’t do.
You are told constantly overtly and covertly that your perception of the narcissist is inaccurate by the narcissist and everyone else you speak to regarding the narcissist.
You are told you are too sensitive, paranoid, cruel and interpret everything incorrectly due to this.
You are told repetitively that you are crazy.
You are constantly insulted so your self esteem is lowered.
You are made to doubt yourself regarding everything you say and everything you do and do not do.
You are cheated on and told it is your fault to why the narcissist has done this to you.
As you can see, how could you believe or know that the false self is not real when the memory of you with the narcissist in every way has been heavily engrained into you via the above and the loving bombing material. By the time you figure out you have been manipulated and brainwashed, those memories are already placed within your mind thus, the struggle.