A Psychological Perspective
Aconcept that seems to be very hard to grasp and fully understand is how the narcissist lives as an actor.
How can someone pretend for so long? How can one act out one’s entire life?
You hear and read all the time, “the narcissist has no self” but what does that really mean???
The narcissist lives in a disassociated state where he is constantly observing himself within his own mind. He is not permanently attached or subjectively connected to his false self neither. The narcissist lives his life as an actor because he observes “himself” as if he is in a movie which is really his life.
To the narcissist, it is just him and himself, there is nothing more important or more focused on. Due to this particular motivation, along with being entrenched in self obsession and living in a disassociated state, the narcissist lives his entire life as the director and the main actor in his self made movie.
So how do you know if the narcissist is being genuine this time? How can you be genuine if you have no self? How can you be genuine if you are utterly obsessed with yourself? How can you be genuine when you are watching your life unfold instead of experiencing it? How can you be genuine when all you care about is your need for supply??
A Humane Perspective
When a person is genuine:
1. they do not lie or dismiss their lies
2. they don’t pretend they are victimized by their victim
3. they will not try to guilt you
4. they have a desire to show accountability and remorse
5. they have a desire to explain any and all past mistakes
6. they do not falsely accuse others
7. they do not critize or shame othets
8. they do not enforce silent treatments
9. they do not attempt to blame you for their wrong doings
10. they don’t ignore you and than return some time later and state a one liner like “im sorry” or “i love you” and leave it at that