“At least I can say I tried, I love you”
The narcissist speaks from a place of denial as we all know but hearing this particular one liner is by far, the most ridiculous thing a narcissist could ever say. It is very common to hear this overused statement when the narcissist’s victim attempts to go no contact.
The narcissist tried to play on his victim’s guilt, empathy and desire to mend the relationship by using this one liner. By doing such, the narcissist attempts to turn the tables by placing the wrong doing onto his victim as if one should be guilt ridden for cutting off contact, as if one should feel guilt for having self respect.
The narcissist knows this particular statement holds power because they know it would be very difficult for a victim to sit with the decision of being the one that “walked away”. Why is this so difficult? Well, to be abused for so long by a narcissist partner and then to have them turn around and try to appear as if they are the ones being victimized, is a very hard thing to just calmly accept. Nobody wants to be treated as an abuser especially when they are in fact, the victim of an abuser.
The narcissist knows he is an abuser and is very aware that he has abused his partner to no end. The narcissist also knows that stating this particular one liner will provide them a shot at luring back their escaping victim. Never does the narcissist utilize this awareness to provide the victim with an ounce of psychological and emotional relief. All the narcissist thinks about and strives for is control. You will also notice silence commonly follows such a pathetic one liner because it provides the victim time to think, ruminate and hopefully come to doubt, their decision to attempt escaping the narcissist.
For a narcissist to state “i tried” is merely a joke and a half. The narcissist uses one liners to try and hold back any empathy or care towards his victim so she does not ever believe that she is desired and loved. He will say “i love you” but over time, those words become meaningless and again, this is something the narcissist very well knows.
The narcissist is very aware of the power his words have on the mind of his victim, regardless of how little he speaks or how rude or kind he appears. The narcissist knows his words are important to his victims. The narcissist heavily relies on the victim’s interpretation of his words. He can do so because he has brainwashed his victims to always interpret what he says and does in a positive light. Victims of narcissists do this due to the dire need to fix the relationship and to remove the confusion and cognitive dissonance.
A person who tries is a person who provides an open ear, asks questions, provides explanations, offers an apology, shows remorse and gives empathy. A person who tries is the narcissist’s victim.