When the narcissist begins to :
1. rudely question your words or behaviours
2. accuse you of something
3. rudely ask you to explain yourself
4. criticize you
5. pretend to leave you
..it is vital you do not respond. No matter what, the narcissist is going to try to shame and hurt you under the guise of the above five points. In these moments, you cannot avoid this wrath UNLESS you do not respond.
If you are speaking to the narcissist on the phone, you can either hang up or simply state “i need to think, we will have to continue this conversation later, goodbye” and hang up.
The urge to respond can be quite intense in these moments and for many reasons but understand one very important thing, you are being manipulated if you respond.
The narcissist twistedly thinks that if you respond to any of the above five points, you are guilty.
The narcissist believes if a person feels the need to defend oneself, than they are automatically guilty. Even despite the narcissist knowing he has placed this dire urge in you to remedy, defend and explain yourself, he will still deem you guilty if you respond to the above five points.
The narcissist will try his very best to get you to react and he will hate being ignored, but in the end, you cannot lose here in not responding.
The narcissist will either switch his malignant approach to a kind approach or he will go silent to further test you, hoping you will reply to his non sense eventually because he knows you cannot stand being ignored or that you have come to doubt your reality.