Victim’s of narcissistic abuse are always given two options when they are speaking with a narcissist- adapt to the narcissist’s fantasy or remain in reality.
If the choice of assimilating with the narcissist’s fantasy is chosen, the victim is forced to deny all of themselves and all of whst they have experienced. Assimilating with a narcissist is to invalidate oneself. It is impossible to speak with a narcissist and not actually invalidate one’s own existence. You can never exist in the narcissist’s fantasy and not be abused. Even when the narcissist seems to be in reality, they are not. Even when the narcissist isn’t abusing his victims overtly, they are abusing them covertly. This is because the victim has to deny their own thoughts and emotions in order for such faulty peace to take place.
On the other hand, there are many consequences when the victim of a narcissist chooses to remain in reality. The abuse, confusion, stalking, gaslighting, and overall invalidation heightens ten fold. The narcissist ensures this double edge sword exists in order to make it ten times more difficult for any one of his victims to abandon him.
Understand that the narcissist knows that denying and invalidating everything his victims have been threw because of him has many benefits. The narcissist knows that it is neurologically ingrained in human beings to perceive their external world and all the things in their external world in a visual manner=the eyes.
Things become very hard when the human mind attempts to contradict what has been seen with one’s own eyes. Even with all the awareness one could have towards the realm of perception, this is extremely difficult. Essentially, this particular manipulation tactic is one of the most effective way in which the narcissist turns his victims against themselves, by simply creating a war in the victim’s mind.
This war is inevitable but never forget, you can make your very accurate perception of who the narcissist is and all that you have experienced as the only reality by modifying your behavior to match your very accurate perception. Difficult, yes but not impossible.