Everyone knows that the narcissist lacks accountability but what does this word “accountable” really mean when it comes to a narcissist?
Of course, everyone knows that the narcissist lacks accountability in all that he does. He censors his conversations, gives silent treatments, denies the things he does, verbally attacks you and lies consistently, all done just to avoid being accountable.
There are many tricky ways in which a narcissist can avoid being accountable but the real question is – why does being accountable involve trickery for a narcissist?
Well, the narcissist has to be able to dodge accountability in a way that also allows his ego to remain protected. His use of linguistics is very necessary in order for him to refrain from being accountable. He has to be able to use his words in such a way that cannot open any doors in the conversation that could possibly lead the narcissist no choice but to be accountable. You can try to prove to the narcissist using a million facts that he has been caught thus, has to be accountable but if the narcissist has already said to you “your a horrible person, i’m done being falsely accused, goodbye,” then all those stated facts have been rendered useless to him simply because the narcissist has displayed that he will not respond to “your lies and accusations” (aka reality).
Essentially, this particular tactic that the narcissist uses to avoid accountability is the disowning of his own words. For example, the narcissist calls you a loser and you respond with “it is not ok to call me names” -the narcissist will then treat you as if you are the one in the wrong and say something along the lines of “your so rude, you think your better then everyone else”. The narcissist has now disowned his words and is acting as if he is only able to see that you have insulted him. He has now turned reality into fiction and avoided all accountability.
The narcissist will disown anything he says to: drive you crazy-as a gaslighting tactic, if he feels offended which is far too often and also something that he believes happens for delusional reasons, and to distract you from what he has said or done.
Narcissists use this manipulation tactic so frequently but putting this tactic into words is very difficult to do. Many people describe the narcissist’s malignancy with broader terms like abusive or sneaky, but this broader terms do not do any real justice in describing the magnitude of methodical psychological warfare that has truly taken place via the narcissist.