Victim’s of narcissists commonly hear “you have to accept he/it wasn’t real”. This is not true. The subjective experiences for any victim of a narcissist is very real and to approach this issue from a standpoint that removes the victim’s reality is not going to be of any help. Even the narcissist believes his own lies.
Understanding that the only truth a victim really has is their very accurate perspective of what has and is actually taking place. This is extremely difficult for any victim of a narcissist because the narcissist lives his life constantly confirming to the eyes of everyone around them and even to themselves that their displayed false existence is real.
What and where does this leave the victim?
This leaves the victim in a place of extreme doubt and invalidation because no one believes them.
Essentially the narcissist linguistically alters the truth the victim has lived and experienced as a mere faulty perspective. This is why the narcissist thrives on making his victim appear crazy to the rest of the world.