Building your idea of what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship is a key component to self care. It is important to know what you will and will not tolerate especially after being with a narcissist because at the end of the day, your emotions have been used against you in order to break and remove your boundaries. The narcissist has spent a large amount of time tricking you into lowering your boundaries to oblivion without ever knowing such is taking place. Due to this manipulation, what you have tolerated is not in fact, what you believe is something that should be tolerated. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get to know what you truly believe and value:

-What is cheating to you? Is it just physical or can you also cheat emotionally?

-Does the type of cheating matter to you in regards to what you will or will not tolerate?

-What are the reasons if any, that would need to be given to you in order for you to forgive someone for cheating?

-Why do you think people cheat when in a relationship?

-Is cheating something you would do?

-Does the excuse given or the amount of times the person cheats matter to you when it comes to forgiving cheating?

-When a person does something you deem wrong, do you believe an apology is in order? why or why not?

-Does it matter if a person is accountable or not?

-What is accountability to you?

-What do you believe a person should most definitely be accountable for?

-What is lying?

-Does the definition change depending on who lied?

-Who do you let get away with lying if anyone and why?

-Do you believe lying is ok sometimes? If so, under what circumstances?

-Do you lie? Why or why not?

-Is it wrong to lie?

-Does the amount of times a person lies matter? why or why not

-Is lying forgivable? Why or why not

-Why do you believe people lie?

-How do you know if someone is lying?

-What kind of proof do you need to believe if someone is lying to you?

-What do you deem verbal abuse?

-Do you believe being verbally abusive is unforgivable? why or why not

-Why do you think people verbally abuse other people?

-Will you forgive a person if they are verbally abusive to you but apologize? Why or why not

-Does the amount of times someone verbally abuses you matter? Why or why not


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