Something the narcissist fails to understand about himself is that no matter how hard he tries, there can only be one thing left for him and that is the false self.
Narcissists experience themselves as lacking a self. They can never become the false self either and yet, that is all they are. The narcissist solely exists as a slave within his own mind. Even though he acts out his entire life, he can never truly obtain and invoke the false self as himself. A very common point of confusion in the recovery process is recognizing that there can never be a mutually shared perception between the victim and the narcissist.
At one point or another, the victim will try to adapt to the narcissist and his delusional interpretation of everything around him in relation to himself. There also comes a point in time where the victim unconsciously learns that they cannot be what the narcissist wants them to be. This is a personal revelation in which the victim will experience without ever being aware that this is exactly what has taken place.