Narcissist parents operate like emotional light switches. One moment, everything is in peace and the narcissist parent is not abusing everyone in sight and the next minute-switch! This is one of the most ridiculous things to have to experience with a narcissist parent especially if you are circumstantially forced to live with it. The light switch has many functions for the warped minded narcissist parent. By switching back and forth from ok to not ok, keeps everyone on edge. It keeps everyone around them in a constant state of distress and confusion which has many benefits for such a disordered person. The light switch also acts as a reminder for the narcissist that confirms to them they are still in control of the people in their life. If I can alter my face and use of words to manifest your reaction as angry or sad, then I must be very powerful right? This is how the narcissist thinks. This particular piece of knowledge can work against a person though due to the fact that they know this is happening but still, they cannot alter the situation.
The reason for the narcissist to offer up the olive branch or to cry to their victim for forgiveness is done to claim the other is in the wrong. This leads anyone to retract one’s stance towards the narcissist. Most people do not want to hurt another human being. Also, it is much easier to just go with the flow in order to keep the narcissist’s insanity under wraps and to catch your damn breath.
The decision to avoid the narcissist’s nonsense is made out of the victim’s confusion, intolerance and distress. It is a decision made from an attempt to avoid the nonsensical nuisance of a narcissist and their constant ridiculousness.
this decision does much more damage in the long run.
The way to ensure you do not become trapped in a place with the narcissist-where you are aware of what is happening but cannot seem to alter your situation- is to make a decision for yourself and stick with it.
Recognize that yes you are exhausted and just need a break from the narcissists insanity but the more you avoid making a decision by trying to catch your breath, the more you will lose your breath.
You have to make a decision. Examine what you tolerate and choose to walk away as soon as you can.