When it comes to covert manipulation, the golden rule is to work solely behind the scenes. Operant conditioning, body language, repetition, tone of voice and silence are some major examples of covert manipulation. Essentially, the goal of covert manipulation is to not directly relate one’s actions/words/etc to one’s malignant intent. This leaves the victim in a place where a million options plague their mind regarding their very own perception. “Did she bang the door shut despite her just telling me she wasn’t angry?” .
It is important to make note that various connections are constantly being implicated by the narcissist. The narcissist becomes suggestive and semi obvious regarding his intent because without doing such, there would be no way for his victim to become immensely confused and present that confusion to him.
If a victim of covert manipulation questions the covert abuser about the implicated being suggested, the covert abuser will deny everything which leads to the victim becoming confused, doubtful and over time, rageful. Even when the victim is fully aware and confident in their own perception of the narcissist’s manipulation, the narcissist denying such can still create extreme anger within the victim because the narcissist’s intent becomes quite apparent.
The goal for anyone experiencing this wrath is to understand that the narcissist is lying because he is delusional and in fact, he is actually talking and manipulating himself and that…is pathetic.