The narcissist creates and manifests situations where the victim becomes angry such as when the narcissist refuses to show empathy for example. This creates a cycle of the victim continuously tolerating abuse and trying to be nice because they have hopes and expectations that the narcissist will show empathy towards them.
The victim is brainwashed to believe that if the narcissist is treated with respect or empathy, they will receive it back one day. The victim fails to see that the narcissist cannot respond sympathetically to an ultimadum or anger. This is because the false self is the one interacting with the victim thus, autopilot reactions are all that is there-the victim’s anger equates a threat to the narcissist which leads to the narcissist raging out and/or becoming silent, “victimized” and/or spiteful. The victim cannot understand this insanity.
When the victim expresses oneself ineffectively, it is strictly due to a lack of understanding, immense frustration and emotional pain. The way the narcissist reacts to the victim appears malignant and is in fact, malignant but of course, the narcissist cannot believe that such true because he operates within the autopiloted false self.