The narcissist plays on his victim’s desire to be loved. The narcissist uses relationships to achieve the fufillment of this desire for his victim. Narcissists target the one emotion the human needs. Humans need to be loved in order to grow emotionally, physically and mentally. To target this human need is effective merely because it is a need.
The narcissist traps himself in his own delusions by doing such because he too, needs to be loved. I have never met a narcissist without such a need despite their false self. Yes, this need is defined differently for the narcissist: he defines being loved as receiving attention but none the less, he needs it. This need of his is the very thing that traps him into a life led by pathalogical lying. What a narcissist shows on the outside consumes the narcissist and is believed to be truth for the most part. Yes, the narcissist is aware, yes they are addicted to attention and yes they know they are being malignant towards others but here is the tricky thing..narcissists need to feel loved by receiving attention so badly that they will be malignant in order to gain it.
Imagine needing to be loved this greatly? It is insanely desperate. A part of the narcissist knows that he is insane and desperate hence the formation of this false self that is meant to protect him from the consequences of being in such great need that makes him exploit others.
The narcissist has come to believe he needs attention though only because he is a God. He has always believe he’d he is worthless, unlovable and needs to be loved aka receiving attention. This contradicting conudrum leads to a dual stream of consciousness for the narcissist but also creates immense confusion for their victims. It is hard to view life and people in a way a narcissist views life, nevermind consistently viewing everything that way all the time. For the most part, people percieve reality with their eyes and have one stream of consciousness to derive a perspective from.
Knowing how the narcissist’s mind works, allows the victim to understand that they , in fact, do have power over themselves and that is the very thing the narcissist desires to permanently remove.