Self reflection 

People tend to refrain from acknowledginging a very important factor that comes into play when it comes time to escape the narcissist and go no contact. This particular factor is the victim’s weaknesses which are very well known to the narcissist.

The narcissist studies his victims in a very unique but of course, this is never something the narcissist ever admits so it make sense to why this factor fails to be incorporated into the grieving stage for most victims.

It is very important that anyone dealing with such an it of a human being takes the time to self reflect, to learn about oneself so they are aware of what the narcissist uses against them. A few pointers are:

what are your traumas?
what emotions are attached to those traumas?

how do you react to your emotions?

what needs are not being met in your emotional life?

what are your fears?

what are your pet peeves?

what offends you?

what do you desire?

what do you cherish?

what do you deem intolerable and tolerable?

what are your values?

what are your beliefs around: verbal abuse, cheating, manipulation, lying, deceit of anykind, what a healthy relationship consists of, marriage, kids, physical abuse, stalking, sex, emotions, etc.

do you respect and love yourself? why or why not?

what did the narcissist provide you in the beginning of your relationship that won you over?